Call me anal…

…but I love writing things down, and organising things onto little chunks of paper. I have 3 shopping lists going on the fridge to make sure we get stuff we need and to curb impulse buying (something I seem to be an expert at). There are also a dozen or so to do lists lying around that I haven’t quite completed. Last week, we also started a baby stuff inventory, and scarily (even though we think we’ve bought a huge heap of stuff) we need more baby stuff (!?!) according to some reliable websites and books.

Anyway, I am a big fan of lists, and some of my favourite printable lists come from David Seah. The one I use the most is the Emergent Task Planner, which is by far the nicest looking and most usable to do list I’ve come across.

It prints up beautifully and is easy to write, organise and scribble notes on. I like printing out a week’s worth (5) double sided on A4 paper and staple them together. Once the week is done, I recycle/ shred them. Being A4 though, they aren’t very portable, so I tend to use them as an add-on to my little Moleskine diary, which goes everywhere and contains everything (just about) that I need to get me through my day.

However, Mr. Seah (the genius) has come up with a weekly sheet that will probably go on top of my 5 Planner sheets and act as a holistic weekly guide (there is room to track how much you sleep, exercise, etc). I’m testing it out at the moment, we’ll see how I feel about it in a week or two.

Lifehacker has a succinct review of the Day Grid Balancer, or you can check out David’s own explanation. If you’re as anal as me, I’m sure you’ll get a kick out of it!

A difficult day

I’m not going to lie: today has been hard. Why?

1. I have a cold = congestion + hacking cough = no sleep at night. Oh, and I can’t take decongestants because I’m pregnant + baby is moving and kicking hard most nights = really guarantees no sleep! And when I don’t sleep I turn into a grumpy monster. I shudder to think what will happen when baby arrives and I get really sleep deprived.
2. I am having a “Am I fit to be a mother?” crisis moment. I recognise that this is something entirely normal, even though (like postpartum incontinence and sex during pregnancy) it’s something no one seems to like talking about, or owning up to having. But it’s still difficult to deal with lingering doubts about how I will navigate the crazy (but rewarding) world of motherhood. I’m not saying I’m not looking forward to it, but I can see some challenges ahead, and some days they feel bigger and scarier. Like today.
3. Due to 2) + 1) = P and I are fighting. There are also a few other things that are overwhelming us and (due to factors beyond our control) it’s been a turbulent time for a few weeks, with barely a break to catch a breath. Considering that he is my main source of support and joy here in Melbourne (much as I like and enjoy my friends here, my really close friendships are elsewhere) life is becoming a bit of a strain.

So, I write with two goals: catharsis; and also to report that bad days will happen to everyone, even those who seem to be doing well on the surface: I have a healthy pregnancy with minimal side effects, a fabulous marriage, rewarding work that I really enjoy, plus I still look fabulous (as everyone keeps telling me).

I’ll just take comfort in the facts above, and try to get some sleep tonight. And hope I feel better tomorrow.

Homebirth under threat

Cut from Hoyden About Town post:

Homebirth to become illegal in a year. … And no matter how low-risk the woman nor how much she desires a homebirth, women will not be allowed to do so legally with a midwife. Because the legislation introduced this week will ban midwives from practising without insurance; and there is no insurance provider for homebirth midwives. So long, too bad, so sad. Good bye.

For a good summary, see my midwife Joy’s post, who also wrote a great post about how the legislation affects private midwives attending home births:

It’s not true that *all* homebirth will be illegal after 1 July 2010, when the Health Practitioner Regulation National Law, which mandates professional indemnity insurance as a condition for registration, is set to come into effect.

Homebirth programs that are operated by hospitals and health authorities will be able to continue. The option that will become illegal is private arrangements between a woman and a midwife. That means midwives like me, and an estimated 150 others, will be out of work, and all the women who want to arrange homebirth privately will be denied that choice.

And please sign this petition to save private midwifery in Australia. Because I certainly don’t want to lose the right to the choice of being able to have a baby how I want to, and neither should any woman.

Book Review: How Doctors Think by J Groopman

Every healthcare provider, whether they work in a hospital or community setting, has to think about how to best assist people heal themselves. These decisions can have a small or large impact: from saving someone’s life to making someone’s day easier or safer.

This book questions how those decisions are made; and how medical technology, legislation and education can hinder or help. It is also, in a sense, a self-help book – with ideas on how every person who seeks medical care can help their doctors (and other healthcare professionals) make better judgements together.

I couldn’t help but be sucked in by the stories presented, and I loved the optimistic tone in the background. Even though there was critique of the education and healthcare systems, there was no judgemental, negative finger-pointing going on. Just stories, or parables (if you like), with a message to challenge the way you see things, open your mind and listen: really listen to what people are trying to tell you.

I am only halfway through, but am loving this book, and how it has made me rethink the way I approach the people/clients/patients I deal with everyday. It’s a welcome distraction from thinking day and night about pregnancy/ baby stuff, and makes me proud to do the work I do.

Agnostic’s prayer

I chanced upon this prayer in the middle of an absorbing book:

Dear universe

Having been created in your image

I am full of unrealised potential

The realisation of which

Depends upon my acknowledgement of the potential,

My recognition of all the gifts with which I am endowed,

And my exploitation of the opportunities that lie open before me.

Please help me to rise to meet the challenge.

Let me use these gifts for the benefit of all people.

for all that I am

and all that I can be

I thank you.

from How Doctors Think by J. Groopman.

(some words have been substituted or omitted)

Barcelona Favourites

Here are some of my favourite memories of Barcelona.

1. Eating in Barcelona

There are so many delightful food places, especially in Gracia and El Raval, and I had an amazing time eating. What I would have loved to do is eat at the following places:

1. The food markets combine my love for architecture and eating. It’s wonderful being snap happy and then stopping for something delicious when I get tired (which I didn’t end up doing). My favourite ones are in La Llibertat in Gracia and La Boqueria on the Ramblas.
2. Escribá: so famous they have their own plaque on the floor of Las Ramblas. It will be chock full of tourists but don’t let it discourage you from pushing your way in and getting something yummy.
3. Bar Central: I walked past it a couple of times before finding out it was one of Barcelona’s iconic bars. If you end up coming here, have a tapas and beer for me.

2. Sleeping on the beach, Sitges.

We had so much fun eating that all we wanted to do was lie in the sand on the beach in Sitges. The beach was nice and quiet, the sand was warm, and the breeze was cool. Be warned that Sitges becomes a very crowded and annoying place once summer hits. Probably not recommended in the summer months!

3. Wandering thorugh El Raval

El Raval is a very interesting neighbourhood to walk through: the large immigrant section population there gives it great character (and some of the best food), and the closer you get to MACBA (the Modern Art Museum of Barcelona), the more arty and funky it becomes, with young skateboarders and artists hanging out on the streets and the hip bars and cafes.

Frommers has a walking tour for El Raval that takes in most of the cool sights I saw. It is a great neighbourhood to get lost in and I had a fabulous day out when I was there in April 2009, sans tourists.

4. Wandering thorugh L´eixample

I loved the Lonely Planet Modernista walking tour, but try this one from Frommers of Modernista Léixample. The lonely planet one is much longer and more complete, though. So if you have a LP guidebook, use it.

My favourite place on the tour is the:

• Palau de Musica Catalana. One of the coolest Modernista buildings from the outside. There are organised tours of the complex in various languages for 10€ (adult). They can be obtained from the box office but were sold out the day I went, so try and book ahead. You cannot take photos during a tour, which sucks big time if you’re a photog. My photos of the outside did not do it justice, so I decided to skip the tour and buy a souvenir book for about 4€ instead. I would love to attend a concert in the gorgeous concert hall, preferably while they are playing the pipe organ!

5. Shopping

1. Lefties: You might not have heard of Grupo Inditex, but you would have heard of their stable of iconic brands such as Zara, Massimo Dutti and Pull and Bear. Well, this is where all their retired clothes come to rest. (!!!) On my recent visit, baby jumpsuits were 10€ for a set of 5. I bought 2 gorgeous tops for about 15€ each. This translated link of a forum has more information. The 2 most accessible Lefties outlets in Barcelona are:
   At the end of Calle Pelai 2-4, corner of Placa Universitat, minutes from the Paseo de Gracia metro and very close to Plaza Catalunya.
   At Maremagnum, the mall at the south end of Las Ramblas (map). Ground floor, Shop 44. Open Mon – Sun from 10h to 22h.
2. Markets: If your aim is to shop at (rather than take photos of) Barcelona’s many markets, this article should be useful.

Have a great time in Barcelona, and I hope this list has helped take you off the beaten track!

Choosing the right car seat for baby

Even though the nursery is barely filled (except with books) and we have tried our best to get everything second hand, there was one thing I inisisted on buying brand new: a car seat. The general advice is don’t trust a second hand car seat unless you know someone really well and trust their driving history, so we decided to do our research and get a brand new one.

I found the RACV (our local automobile association) Child Restraint Evaluation Program website very useful. The restraints were rated according to how well they protect a child in a crash and how easy they are to use. The last evaluation was done in 2009: here is a pdf of the results. If you live in outside of Australia, the Consumer Search Car Seat Reviews are comprehensive as well.

The RACV tested restraints in three categories; Rearward-facing restraints for babies, Forward-facing restraints for young children and Booster seats for older children. We decided to choose a convertible car seat that would last from birth until baby is 18kg (about 3-4 years old) and ended up buying the IGC GoSafe Cleo, which we found was the best rated in both the rearward-facing (6th best) and forward-facing (5th best) categories overall.

The next challenge is fitting the restraint to the car. The RACV has this advice:

1. Don’t fit the restraint yourself. Use a Restraint Fitting Station for advice and training on installing and using the restraint.
2. If possible, fit the restraint to the centre position of the rear seat, because it will offer better protection in a side impact crash.
3. Always keep the instructions that came with the restraint in a safe place, like the glove box. This will help if you need to know how to adjust straps or fit the restraint again.
4. Every time the restraint is used check that the top tether strap (if there is one) is firmly connected to the anchor point.
5. Every time the restraint is used make sure there are no twists in any straps or belts, and that these are taut and firm, but not too tight and rigid.

We installed the seat ourselves: I figure we’ll learn more this way than getting someone else to do it. We’ve both read the car seat manual and car manual thoroughly, and it wasn’t really that hard. However, the statistics seem to tell a different story:

Approximately 70% of child restraints are not installed correctly. A child restraint that has not been fitted properly can result in serious injury or even the death of a child in a crash.

Many parents/carers fit a child restraint into their car themselves believing that it is easy. However it is a skilled task that needs to be learnt correctly from a restraint fitter, or at least have the restraint checked before placing your child in the car.

Therefore, we’re planning to get everything checked at a restraint fitting station nearby. Better to be safe than sorry, having your own child hurt or killed in a car accident is not something you want to be responsible for. If you live in Victoria, the RACV has a serach function to find your nearest restraint fitting station. Good luck finding a professional restraint fitter in your location if you’re overseas!

Girl or Boy?

For anyone who is still wondering, the answer is – we don’t know.

Unlike most of our generation, we wanted to find out, and actively sought an ultrasound to check. Why? Because thinking up 1 set of names is easier than 2, and much as I hate buying gender-specific clothing, the annoying shops of Australia have distinctly pink or blue clothing. (Rather than the dark grey, moss green or pale yellow offerings all over Europe. Why I didn’t buy more clothes there, I don’t know.)

Anyway, the ultrasound was inconclusive. Baby was covering its crotch with its hands, then had its little legs crossed on top of it, just to make life difficult. The sonographer’s final verdict was “60% girl” because he “couldn’t see any boy bits.” Which, as far as we are concerned, is as good as saying 50/50.

So we wait with bated breath.

The next “natural” question that I have been incessantly asked is “What does it feel like?”

Honestly, I don’t understand that question. Granted, it is fun to wonder. But when someone (ie – many women I meet who comment on my belly) starts to take such things too seriously, it really annoys me. Besides, if you are a stranger, why do you care?

So, what am I supposed to be feeling??? Firstly, no: I can’t feel a little penis or vulva rubbing against my uterus: which is a muscle, not a sensory organ, in the first place. Secondly, how the f*ck does a male or female fetus feel like? The unscientific nonsense about boys being more active, and girls being more …I don’t know what… is yet another sexual label that I hope not to impart to my child, whatever sex it ends up being. Thirdly, how does what I dream about have anything to do with what sex the child will turn out to be? Believing in dreams is a bit like believing in organised religion, good for some but not my thing. And fourthly, how does what shape my stomach is, what food I crave or how my face looks like have anything to do with it? If someone can find me evidence that such “methods” are consistently proven successful in predicting the sex of an unborn child, please let me know.

If you are going to ask me questions, I think the emphasis should be on how mum and dad are doing (Great!), what our dreams are for our child (Many!), or some other meaningful question about my health, how I’m looking after myself, and how well and happy I look. Or better yet, talk to me about me, rather than my baby. Because my existence doesn’t stop at being a mother or having a child. I would like to hope that I am still a capable member of society (on top of being a sleep-deprived milk mamma) with interesting ideas and valued opinions. If you care about me (and us) please keep that in mind.

Chic pregnancy

Every self-respecting female would be hoping to look nice during her pregnancy, and I’m not about to become a frumpy momma just because I have an expanding belly. Here are some ideas that can help.

This article from Telegraph Fashion is great, and has some excellent tips like:

1. Wear snug clothes.
   Obviously, you need some semblance of body confidence, but I find that figure hugging clothes that drape and cling in all the right spots seem to make me look smaller, and less tent-like.
2. Invest in maternity jeans.
   I have worn my 2 pairs to death, they are so comfortable! I also have a spare pair of pre-pregnancy skinny leg jeans that are super stretchy with a high waistline: they fit great and make my legs look wonderful but start to dig into my belly after a long day, so I only wear them when I’m desperate (with no other option, or desperate to look good).
3. Choose empire lines.
   Actually when I pick non-maternity clothes, I prefer wrap tops that I tie above my belly. I also find that longer tops with ruching around the waist/ belly area very flattering. Some of them I’ve had since pre-pregnancy are still very comfortable now. I have two empire line tops that look nice, but I find some of them can make my boobs look like udders!
   Other clothes that can do double duty are dresses, especially wrap dresses; tunic tops and anything extremely stretchy.
4. Layer up.
   I find I gain and lose heat alot quicker when I’m pregnant, so it is very important to layer. Also, if something doesn’t fit quite right, layering can help disguise it and give you more mileage with your pre-pregnancy clothes.
5. Don’t overshop.
   Well, if you are creative and try almost all of your wardrobe on, I’m sure you won’t have to over shop.

For more inspiration, check out the latest (spring/summer) trends from Mamas and Papas, one of my favourite places to shop while I was in England.

Or try these ideas Benetton Maternity

Turtle moments

I recently finished Catherine Newman’s book Waiting for Birdy, about parenting one child while expecting her second. I enjoyed it’s heartfelt, tender and very funny language, but Literary Mama’s book review tells it better, so I’ll let you read her review instead of writing one myself.

I’ll just quote a favourite passage that resonated, especially as my baby girth increases:

If you’ve ever been pregnant yourself, then you know about this “turning over” – the way it involved a great deal of breathless groaning and a moment of being stuck on your back, like a turtle, your turtle arms and legs flailing in the air.

I am having lots of turtle moments, which are endlessly entertaining to my darling husband. He laughs before helping me right myself (if I give up or my “shell” feels too large). Just yesterday, I nearly sent a Cd display flying at the local bookstore. Oops. Staff were more worried about me than the Cds, which was sweet. It’s as if my bump has a life of its own! (actually it does, but I digress).

Then, we decided to take advantage of the rare autumn sunshine with an impromptu picnic in the Botanic Gardens, which we thoroughly enjoyed until some swans decided to hijack the peace with their newly-hatched, fluffy grey-white cygnets. I didn’t know baby swans were called cygnets until a family came by and the mum said, “Look at the little cygnets” to her kids. (How can I be a mother when I don’t know what the name of a baby swan is??) Anyway, she was lovely, and apologised for invading our privacy.

However, others weren’t quite so nice, and our small patch of grass was invaded by inconsiderate photographers/ gawkers who stood next to our feet, stepped on our blanket, and talked over our heads. It was enough to make a girl want to make out furiously in public, or push someone into the algae-infested waters (not really, but making out seemed like a fun idea). I even contemplated throwing something at the swans to make them go away. But they were too cute.

So, we decided to leave, and that’s when I had another turtle moment. While I was getting up off the blanket, I found myself falling over backwards onto my arse instead of standing upright like my brain expected. The worst thing was I could barely get up without P’s help. Argh.

I suspect I’m going to have more turtle moments. They are only going to get worse as I get bigger. Ah well. At least I am loving being pregnant.